My Page of Wisdom

Pearls of Wisdom

• I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet. Then I got really mad, because even he had shoes!

• Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes…then you can judge him, because you’ll have a one-mile head start, and hey, you’ve got his shoes, so he can’t catch you!

Being decapitated will always rank as my most memorable experience.
    From Dydeetown World, by F. Paul Wilson

So I wasn't taken completely by surprise when, at the paper, I found George (of all people) urinating into the trash can.
    From Strange Invasion, by Michael Kandel

Art Modell suffered a heart attack a few years back while he was still in Cleveland. I hope he has another one. I don't want him to die, I just want him to keep having heart attacks because I know they hurt.
    From Dirty Jokes and Beer, by Drew Carey

It should be noted that, although adding gamma-zero of (M) structure sounds simple to Ken Ribet, it is an esoteric step of logic that only a handful of the world's mathematicians could have concocted over a casual cappuccino.
    From Fermat's Enigma, by Simon Singh

God, it was cruel to have been born a male, and have a reflection that was also male, forcing him into a platonic relationship with his own image.
    From Red Dwarf: Better Than Life, by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor

Physical intimacy can include laughing, and it can include pointing. But it should never permit laughing and pointing at the same thing.
    From God Is in the Small Stuff for Your Marriage, by Bruce & Stan

After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds few terrors.
    From On Writing, by Stephen King

You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.
    From The Sign of Four, by Arthur Conan Doyle

This is probably the only work with a connection to Hilbert's problems that has resulted in a patent suit about toilet paper.

    From The Honors Class (Hilbert's Problems and Their Solvers), by Benjamin H. Yandell

No matter which way you cut it, there were no harpsichord tuners on Mars.
    From Martian Time-Slip, by Philip K. Dick

'Burkholder's weak L₁ inequality' sounds like a most unlikely pick-me-up for an elderly depressed man, but it did the trick in Littlewood's case.

    From The Riemann Hypothesis: The Greatest Unsolved Problem in Mathematics, by Karl Sabbagh 
 

Students Say the Darnedest Things
 

"There is no greater curse than wasted potential; luckily for me, I'm blessed."

DeepThoughtsByJackHandey.com